Monday, July 1, 2013


Here is a little public service announcement.  Sometimes when you go to the Christian chicken, you have to be prepared to take names.  If you know my Aunt Susan or my mamaw then you know that I am genetically predisposed to have zero shame when it comes to making a scene in public.

Dear Punk,

You were too tall to be in the play place.  I don't know how you did not see the sign that said you must be shorter than this (54 inches) to play but whatever.  I saw the way you talked to your mama earlier.  She may be afraid of you, but I am not.  So when John Hinton is trying to talk to you (come to find out, he was trying to ask you your name) and you knock him down by bumping him with your crotch and stepping on him, I am going to make sure that I put the fear of God into you if your parents or guardian will not.

I was unmoved by your "I didn't mean to do it."

You just think that I am two shades to crazy at this point.  You so much as look side ways at the Asian invasion and I will unleash the beast.  I will make you regret that you are not vegan, that you ever dared to consider eating chicken.

Yes, I'm fully aware that most of the patrons were watching me when I came out of the play place including your mother.  No, I am not ashamed.  Don't mess with my children.  

And as John Hinton kept telling me tonight, you are not his best friend.

-The Crazy Lady


  1. I most certainly love this!!

    Christian Chicken has a special needs night in Houston and I just about went bat crazy when a typically abled child purposefully tripped my friends so in his walker.

    A mama's got to do what a mama's got to do.

  2. You aren't any shade of crazy, just a MAMA! You get 'em!

  3. That's the Alissa I know and love!