if you don't have something nice to say...

I love my children, really, I do.

But, sometimes-like now, I am struggling to like my children.

God gave me two boys that are full of fire.  I thought if we shook up the DNA on the second one, that I might get one that is laid back and easy going.  Nope.  I already had one who was high maintenance,  emotional, possessive, and all kids of rambunctious.   Now, I have another that is jealous, high strung, anxious, and struggling to communicate and despartely frustrated.  Together they are loud, disobedient, defiant and all around impossible.  And they are always crying and/or screaming.

They are also my light and joy (even if they have driven me to drink straight out of a Jack Daniels bottle while trying to get them in the bath).  They both love their mama to the exclusion of others.  They are my heart's desire and a gift from God.

So, since I don't have anything nice to say about them, I'll share some of our pictures from the beach.  I have some other cute ones of Sam and both boys, but they are cute enough that they are in contention for the Christmas card.

Well, since I've revealed my dirty little secret that adoption is hard, language and speech delays can feel hopeless for all involved, and I am struggling to find joy in this season, I'm going back planning a long vacation with J.R. without children somewhere like the Virgin Islands.  That and upcoming trips to see the Bibbs/Davises and to the beach are what are getting me through the days.