Thursday, October 24, 2013

two moms

This is probably all over the place, but that is how I feel this week.  I am overjoyed to celebrate Sam's third birthday (and first with his family) starting tomorrow at preschool, Saturday (his actual birthday) and his party with family on Sunday. On the other hand, I am so grief stricken for his other family that I can hardly breath.

I love talking about Sam and adoption. I welcome your questions when they come from a place of love.  One of the most common comments and questions we get: what do we know about Sam's other family or the reason he was available for adoption.  I don't say given up or abandoned or placed for adoption because none of those fit in my mind.

I have been very protective of Sam's story because I felt it was his to share when he was ready, but I feel that educating my friends and loved ones is more important.  It is a story Sam needs to know and appreciate too.

Sam was found at the gates of his orphanage on October 27th.

Based upon the condition of his umbilical cord he was estimated to be one day old.  There is no legal way to relinquish a child in China.  So, when your child is born with a cleft palate, cleft lip, and lower lip deformity, if you are not wealthy enough to get cleft bottles, then your baby will not survive unless you take drastic action.  For many in China, this is the choice they are faced with, will they keep their child knowing that they cannot provide the nutrition this child needs to survive much less afford the laundry list of surgeries this child will need to be able to eat and speak or will they let them go in hopes that the government or an adoptive family will meet their needs?

Back to my precious baby waiting at the gate, as close as he could possibly get to the much needed salvation.  There was an extensive police search to find and punish his parents, but they were not found.   People often ask about his other parents in a way that implies they did not love or want him.  Even though I don't know them, I know that you don't risk your own life and liberty for someone that you don't love.  They placed Sammy as close to his lifeline and help as they could.  I wonder if they waited around the corner, hiding the in shadows so they could watch over him.

Sometimes the decision to let something or someone go is the most loving and brave thing you can do.  So, if you ask me about his other parents, please ask with respect and love or do not ask at all.

If I could, I would wrap my arms around their necks and kiss their cheeks and thank them.  I would tell them that his palate and lips are repaired.  Their boy is such a fine boy.  A helper.  Mischievous. A total mama's boy.  His dimples are the first thing everyone notices.  He a ladies man.  His eyes are so dark and gorgeous.  You can't tell where the pupil ends and iris begins.  He loves to sing. He is night owl and not a morning person.  He loves ice cream and string cheese.  He will be superman for halloween.  He loves the beach.  He carries around little giraffe blankets like Linus.

There is so much I want them to know.

We are so very thankful that they were brave and loving enough to chose life and hope for Sammy.


  1. Thanks for sharing your heart, as always!

  2. Very well said. I often grieve for Christian's birth mother and I wish I could tell her what a wonderful boy she brought into the world. I only speak of her with love and respect as the woman who granted my biggest wish and gave life to my lil man!