Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Plum's view on feeding

I am worried. I'm being intermittently denied food. I should start at the beginning. Let me explain the control freaks...the main perpetrator is "The Cuddler." She kisses and snuggles me constantly. "Morning Guy" typically carries out the Cuddler's orders first thing in the morning, hence the name.

They both start off giving me what I want, the bottle, but a couple of ounces in, they both snatch it out of my mouth and start beating me on the back. I am unsure of what I have done to anger them, but I try to communicate my disdain by whining and crying out. The Cuddler just smiles stupidly and tell me how cute I am. Morning Guy claims that I am crying like a little girl. I don't know what a little girl is, but she must be fierce. The only thing that intimidates them is when I belch in their face.

As if this is not bad enough, I understand that the Cuddler frequently withholds food from others that live here. I have befriended a feline name Sassy who lives on our front porch. She claims that since something called "the baby" came along she is lucky if the Cuddler remembers to feed her. As you can see her bowl is empty. She is also missing her tail. I must find out if this is a result of the Cuddler's anger.





Addy, a canine in the kitchen, tells me that the Cuddler is responsible for acquiring our nourishment at a place called The Walmart so I should not anger her further by resisting her kissing and snuggles.



Izzy's lips were sealed. I suspect that she was intimidated by Morning Guy or that she receives black market nourishment from the Cuddler.

Wish me luck. I will report more on the sadists later.

Love, The Plum

3 comments:

  1. Plum, you crack me up! I look forward to reading more of your commentary.

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  2. well, first i want to say that sugar plum do not let your mama and daddy brain wash you into attending MSU (as i can clearly see they are tyring to do!)...we all know LSU is better! Secondly, don't worry about all the food...it'll get worked out as you can see Sassy nor the dogs look to be lacking in nutrition and soon addie lee and i will introduce you to some good food such as chocolate! hang in there i know its difficult with The Morning Guy and the one that likes to cuddle so much....i'm sure you remember me (the big belly girl that always gets your sugar!). I can't wait to introduce you to Addie Lee! she is gonna teach you and Kimber the ropes!

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  3. Alissa, a.k.a. The Cuddler, I LOVE THIS! I am SO glad you decided to start a blog for John Hinton! Now I can look at him every day! I need to meet him! He needs to meet Grady! I hate that you are already having to go back to work. Gosh, has it already gone by that fast?! That is crazy! It will be hard to leave him. I am off this week for Thanksgiving and it is So great to spend the week with Grady! I know you miss him already! I look forward to seeing more pics! He is a doll!
    Love
    Julie

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