I am worried. I'm being intermittently denied food. I should start at the beginning. Let me explain the control freaks...the main perpetrator is "The Cuddler." She kisses and snuggles me constantly. "Morning Guy" typically carries out the Cuddler's orders first thing in the morning, hence the name.
They both start off giving me what I want, the bottle, but a couple of ounces in, they both snatch it out of my mouth and start beating me on the back. I am unsure of what I have done to anger them, but I try to communicate my disdain by whining and crying out. The Cuddler just smiles stupidly and tell me how cute I am. Morning Guy claims that I am crying like a little girl. I don't know what a little girl is, but she must be fierce. The only thing that intimidates them is when I belch in their face.
As if this is not bad enough, I understand that the Cuddler frequently withholds food from others that live here. I have befriended a feline name Sassy who lives on our front porch. She claims that since something called "the baby" came along she is lucky if the Cuddler remembers to feed her. As you can see her bowl is empty. She is also missing her tail. I must find out if this is a result of the Cuddler's anger.
Addy, a canine in the kitchen, tells me that the Cuddler is responsible for acquiring our nourishment at a place called The Walmart so I should not anger her further by resisting her kissing and snuggles.
Izzy's lips were sealed. I suspect that she was intimidated by Morning Guy or that she receives black market nourishment from the Cuddler.
Wish me luck. I will report more on the sadists later.
Love, The Plum